What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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