David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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