It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Houston, we have a blender
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize