you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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