a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
