I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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