Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
