There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize