Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
