You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
