Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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