So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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