Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
