Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
