she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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