addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
