Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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