i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
