I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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