i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You ruined the universe
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
