I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
