Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
