did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Couch. On fire.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
