new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
