He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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