just survived the first fart of the relationship.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
