If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
