Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
