Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
