We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize