I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
