Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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