At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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