it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
