I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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