I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
