He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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