bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
