Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
