It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
