I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
