you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Alive.
So much puke
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
