why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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