Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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