Me too!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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