What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
