Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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