I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
