Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
