How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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