So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
