i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
