Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
