i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
