So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
