Jerry, you need to find god
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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