You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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