You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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