i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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