I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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