We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
