Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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