I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
