I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
