I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
