My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize