508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
