You work out of a Hotel?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
