so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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