Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The air taste purple.
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