Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's even glitter on my cock...
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