I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
